Feels like a step back....

So this morning the doctor mentioned Saturday as the earliest possible date we could come home. This afternoon, I am not feeling confident we will make that. They checked her bili-levels (I don't know how to spell that, though I'm sure I'll figure it out, but it is what measures how jaundiced she is) and they have gone back up and are 14. She is also not eating enough. So, she is back under the bili-lights and has been given a minimum amount she must eat. If she doesn't eat it, they will give it to her via feeding tube. This means temporarily no more breast feeding since it is difficult to measure her intake. They are concerned about her weight, but also concerned about her becoming dehydrated being under those lights. Anyways, she looks, again, like she did over in NICU with the feeding tube and isolette with special lights. I know these things are normal for a preemie, but I am ready for her to make some progress. I have to keep reminding myself that she has progressed - her mouth and tongue are stronger and she is figuring out the whole suck/swallow/breathe thing, but since she has more contraptions around her, she looks like she's taken a step back.

As for me, I'm feeling good and so happy that I have been able to continue staying here close to her. My boys are visiting me today and that makes me smile! I hadn't seen them since Monday and knew I missed them, but didn't realize how much until I actually saw them. I've had some visitors the past couple of days and that has been nice to see friends and have some time to hang out and relax as I would at home or at playgroup.

I'm going to try to keep updates coming here so I have a central place to communicate. Keep the emails coming. That is a way for me to continue feeling connected to the outside world! Thank you all, too, for the continued prayers. They are keeping me strong and in good spirits, which is good, considering I'm sure this is one way mom's get the baby blues. I don't have them, although I have had a couple of hormonal moments (mostly due to a nurse I didn't click well with), and I guess I'm allowed a few of those considering I just gave birth :)